


A Lit Fuse

by Pixelatrix



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, F/M, Family, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-03-12 03:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3341309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatrix/pseuds/Pixelatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matilda Harper and Lara Shepard were twins torn apart by parents who should never have slept together. Hannah Shepard stole away from the hospital with one of her daughters, leaving the other to her father, Jack Harper.  Now years later, a second tragedy steals Lara away. </p><p>The Lazarus Project fails in its efforts to bring Commander Shepard back, and The Illusive Man is forced to call on his second daughter to take the place of her twin in his plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Matilda ‘Tilly’ Harper had a charmed life to anyone looking in from the outside. She knew others thought her over-indulgent father tended to provide for her in excessive measures. Everyone around her believed it was to make up for his frequent absences and the loss of her mother. It was something Tilly believed herself up to her eighth birthday.

She loved her father.

Jack Harper.

The Illusive Man to most.

He was _simply_ her father.

She loved him because he’d never lied to her about who he was. Most men in a similar position would’ve attempted to sugar coat things for their children. He didn’t want to be her ‘hero,’ just her father.

Tilly had a secret from her beloved father. She knew about the one thing he’d always tried to keep from her.   She knew about her twin sister, Lara.

Lara Shepard had grown up in the safe embrace of the Alliance with their mother, Hannah Shepard. Hannah had fled from the hospital with only one of the twins, unable to take both with her. It must’ve been a heart-wrenching choice.

From what the twins had been able to piece together, Hannah and Jack had met on Earth at a political rally for a pro-human politician. The two had a slightly tawdry affair which ended with Hannah becoming pregnant. Their short dalliance had led to some life changing consequences.

The twins hadn’t been able to figure out when exactly Hannah became aware of who Jack Harper was in connection with the pro-human movement and Cerberus. She’d responded like most Alliance officers would and made a plan to get as far away from him as possible. They didn’t think her plan had involved leaving one of her daughters behind.

The Illusive Man hadn’t taken losing one of his children all that well. It was almost as if the man had taken it as a challenge to be the best sort of parent. Tilly had wanted for nothing. He gave her everything, yet managed to balance it with a firm hand. He hadn’t wanted a spoiled child apparently.

She would never know if her father intended to tell her about her twin. Lara had contacted Tilly when they were eight. Hannah had apparently told her about her sister on their birthday. Ever since, the twins had maintained a secret penpal relationship via the extranet. They used the private terminals in their schools to avoid being caught.

While Lara had been sent off to Alliance academies, and spent much of her childhood and teenage years on Alliance ships with her mother. Tilly had gone to the most acclaimed private academy on Earth and after graduation planned on attending the top ranked Ivy League university. She had _so_ much pinned on her future.

Lara hoped to become involved in the Alliance which didn’t surprise her twin sister. She intended to study electrical engineering. Tilly had chosen to major in political science with minors in psychology and public relations. Her end goal was to take over some of her father’s work.

Maybe make it a little less… _violent._

* * *

 

_From: L.S._

_To: M.H._

_Subj: re: Parents._

_How exactly do you plan on us seeing each other face to face without either of our parents finding out? Father sounds like he keeps a very close rein on you, and mom definitely has at least one of her Alliance friends watching out for me wherever I go._

_I think she’s afraid father’s going to snatch me up or something._

_She’s never talked about him, beyond saying he’s dangerous._

_He doesn’t sound dangerous._

_He spoils you rotten. I’m jealous. Mom’s too much of a hard-ass to spoil her daughter._

_Arcturus is definitely out. People would notice if I had a doppelganger wandering around with me. I don’t think anyone, but Uncle David and Uncle Steven know about you. They’re all right for grumpy adults.   They’re worse than mom when it comes to rules though._

_I could come to Earth? Somehow._

_Maybe we should wait until we’re in college, and officially adults. They can’t ground us when we’re adults. Can they?_

_Take care, big sis._

_Love,_


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Eleven years after her high school graduation, Tilly was finally going to meet with her sister for the first time in person. She was on her way to the Citadel to meet with the human ambassador and new councillor, David Anderson.   Cerberus, with her help as head of public relations, was slowly gaining traction on its many plans to further humanity’s cause.

Lara’s path had led her to becoming the poster girl for the Alliance. She’d single-handedly saved Elysium from pirates and then moved on to becoming the youngest squad leader in the 103rd. She was in charge of the spark squad, a bomb disposal unit.

The meeting with her sister was long over-due. Tilly hoped to also meet Lara’s fiancé, Kaidan Alenko. He was all her twin could talk about recently. It was sweet and _annoying_.

Dating hadn’t gone well for Tilly over the years. She’d attempted to date within Cerberus’ ranks, but her father terrified anyone who got too close. She’d ended up having a lot of one night stands over the years. The one exception had been a lengthy relationship with an ex-Alliance marine named Kai Leng.

They’d ended things a few months ago after almost two years. Tilly missed the man, though his recent behaviour had started to concern her. She was beginning to think romance wasn’t in the cards for her.

Her attention would be better focused on her current mission in any case. It was imperative to feel out Councillor Anderson. Her father believed he was too much of a straight arrow to be of use, but Tilly knew he was close to Lara. She hoped to use it to at least talk to the man.

_Talking never hurt anything._

“Ms. Harper. What do you have to say to those who feel Cerberus is behind recent attacks on Alliance Marines?”

Tilly contained her urge to snarl angrily at the salivating reporters who’d ambushed her the moment she stepped out of airlock onto the Citadel. She raised an eyebrow coolly at the accusation and turned to face the woman who practically shoved the camera into her face. “Cerberus has and will always put the needs of humanity above all else. The killing of any human, regardless of the uniform they wear, is a great tragedy. We offer our sincere condolences to the marines and their families.”

“You didn’t answer the question. Is Cerberus targeting Alliance officers?” The woman pressed the matter making Tilly want to slam her face into the ground. “Is it true Cerberus caused the explosion on the _Normandy_ to stop further inter-species cooperation?”

“I…” Tilly froze momentarily at the news that her sister’s ship had been involved in an explosion. She pulled on her skills as a public relations expert to contain her emotions. “Cerberus condemns any violent attacked perpetrated on humanity. We hope those who caused this tragic event are brought swiftly to justice. Now if you will excuse me, I am already late for a meeting with our ambassador.”

“Aren’t you interested at all in the rumours that the organization you work for is behind the murder of your twin sister?”

Tilly stalked away without bothering to respond. She ducked into an elevator and slammed the button praying it would close before the reporters could join her. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief when the doors shut in the bitch’s face.

“Rough day?”

She composed herself then turned toward the man standing at the back of the elevator. He was in Alliance dress blues and looked vaguely familiar. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Tilly frowned down at the hand the man held out. “What would you know of my loss?”

“You might have different hair styles, and slightly different builds, but you’re identical to Lara Shepard. I believe you even have the same tattoo.” The man kept his hand out until Tilly finally shook it. “Admiral Steven Hackett.”

“Ahh yes, Lara’s _Uncle Steven._ I should’ve recognized you from the Alliance posters.” Tilly pulled her hand back out of the man’s warm grasp. “What happened to my sister?”

“Do you care? Cerberus has never been all that bothered by the deaths of Alliance marines.” Hackett leaned casually against the elevator railing. “Admiral Kahoku is a prime example of it. Why would one Commander’s life matter? You’re Cerberus mouthpiece, you spit on everything Lara Shepard stood for.”

Tilly’s usually calm façade cracked in an instant. She shot across the small space and caught the man by the throat to hold him against the wall. “Do _not_ presume to know me, _Admiral._ I’m not just a pretty woman in a skirt who paints a picture for Cerberus. I’m a trained operative and I _loved_ my sister. There’s a Lara-shaped chasm in my soul right now. If my father’s organization had _anything_ to do with her death, you can be assured I will…”

“Do what?” Hackett brought his arms up to break her hold on him. He gripped her by the shoulders to ease her back. “Do you even realize the dangerous secrets hidden in Cerberus?”

“I…”

“Do you believe humanity can live apart from other species?”

“No, it’s impossible to remain completely isolated.”

“Do you believe humanity should take control of the council?”

“Not exactly, we should have part of it, but not rule it with an iron-fist.”

“Then what the hell are you doing with Cerberus?” Hackett raised an eyebrow at her.

“Evoking change from within,” Lara shrugged.

“You’ll get yourself killed.” Hackett shook his head while Lara straightened her skirt. “You’re wasting your time with David Anderson. He won’t work with Cerberus.”

“I have to try.” Tilly resisted the urge to clench her hands into fists or raise her voice. She started forward as the elevator door opened, but stopped to look back at the Admiral. “Lara cared a great deal about you. Thank you for taking care of my sister.”

“I can help…”

“Have a good afternoon, Admiral.” Tilly strode away from the man with as much of an air of indifference as she could manage.

“Having problems?”

“ _Kai?”_ Tilly frowned at the man who stepped out of the shadows to join her. “What are you doing here?”

“Your meeting has been cancelled.” Kai looped his arm through hers and started to guide her away from the embassy.

“Cancelled?” Tilly dug her heels in and halted their movement. “Explain yourself. _Now.”_

“There are days you are remarkably terrifying.” Kai smirked at her. “Your father as decided to bring you back home.”

“Why?” She yanked her arm away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. “This meeting is important.”

“Your sister is dead.”

Tilly felt like he’d slammed his fist into her heart, but she managed to merely raise her eyebrow in response. “How does that change our plans?”

“The Illusive Man has a plan.”

“A plan?” Tilly allowed Kai to lead her toward a waiting skycar. “I am filled with a sudden sense of trepidation. Am I going to hate whatever he is thinking about doing?”

“Yes.”

“Damn.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: M. H._

_Subj: Lara._

_In her will, she left the retirement home she won to you. Hannah asked me to clear it out. I found, amongst other things, a secure extra-net address which I assumed the two of you used for your secret correspondence._

_Hannah never knew for certain if the two of you were in contact. She regrets bitterly leaving you behind, though she didn’t have much of a choice. She’d love to meet with you._

_I’m not sure if you’ll read this message._

_I’ve heard some disturbing reports from some of my contacts about Cerberus hunting for Lara’s body. The truth is her body must have burned up quite violently in the atmosphere. We found some mangled pieces of her armour, but her body likely completely decimated._

_Why is the Illusive Man looking for a body?_

_There’s a memorial on Arcturus should you ever care to visit._

_My offer of help is still there._

_Steven_

* * *

 

_From: M.S._

_To: S.H._

_Subj: re: Lara._

_I don’t have much time._

_I know it’s been a year and a half since you sent your message. I apologize for not responding sooner._

_Thank you for letting me know about Lara. It’s too late, I’m afraid, to stop his plans. The Lazarus Project failed, obviously, without a body. I can’t give you too many details._

_I don’t know all the details in any case._

_In a few days, you will hear about my tragic death in a skycar accident._

_It will be fake._

_In a few weeks, you will start hearing rumours of Commander Shepard’s return. It was better than having a clone of myself and my sister running around. My father doesn’t accept defeat. He wants Commander Shepard to return. He will allow me to take her place or a clone._

_I couldn’t live with myself if I allowed a clone…it would be…there aren’t really words for it._

_Tilly_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should explain that the tags technically say this is a femShep/Hackett story, which might or might not be the case. Tilly will be with Hackett, and technically it starts while she's pretending to be her sister. But the actual Commander Lara Shepard was never in a romantic relationship with Admiral Hackett.


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair Warning, this story is going to stray quite a bit from canon in some aspects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Sitting in her office on Cronus—her father’s newly built station—Tilly considered everything she’d learned in the last year and a half.  She’d been moved from public relations to observing the Lazarus Project and the rebuilding the _Normandy._ It had been finished a week ago, the same week she’d messaged Admiral Hackett.

She still didn’t know why she’d sent him the message. Maybe it was because Lara trusted the Admiral, or simply because his blue had had stuck with her. He’d haunted her dreams which annoyed her to no end.

Other more pressing mysteries swirled around her, including the amount of time Kai Leng had been spending with her. He’d initially been assigned to a mission with another operative, Rasa, who had gone rogue. She’d attempted to steal the clone from the Lazarus Project.

_The clone her father had promised he wouldn’t make._

It had been Lawson’s idea. _Miranda Lawson._ The woman was not someone Tilly particularly cared for. She spent a lot of time trying to avoid her.

The stuck-up operative was her father’s pet project since he’d taken her in to keep her safe from her own father. Tilly had resented the woman for several admittedly juvenile reasons. Her decision to create a clone had sealed Tilly’s dislike of her.

“The clone has to go.” Tilly stormed into her father’s office which was about five times the size of his previous one and seemed more like a large empty space than a place to rule the human world. “Terminate it or I will.”

“Matilda.” He spoke the one word with an impressive amount of warning in it.

“It’s a risk.” Tilly had never backed down from him before and wouldn’t start now.

“I don’t believe it is,” Lawson interrupted.

Tilly frowned at the woman who had been standing in the shadows. “I don’t believe I was talking to you.”

“The decision isn’t yours.” Lawson stepped around the bank of vid-screens to stop beside the Illusive Man’s chair. “We feel the clone could be critical to this operation.”

“Terminate the clone, or I will.” Tilly focused her attention on her father.

He raised an eyebrow at her with another clear warning in his eyes. “You would have me kill your sister?”

“That thing is _not_ my sister. It’s an empty shell. And what would you care about that? You kept us apart for over twenty years,” Tilly retorted sharply. “Dad.”

“Leave us.” Her father dismissed Lawson with an uninterested wave of his hand. He turned to his daughter with a little more warmth in his eyes and tone once they were alone. “You’ve never argued with me in front of my operatives before. I’d highly recommend you never do so again.”

“You’re not _usually_ this damn wrong.”

“ _Matilda._ ” He flicked his cigarette ash absently while considering her. “Do not undermine my authority.”

Tilly buried her annoyance and apprehension behind a mask of casual indifference. “Of course, _sir.”_

_“Tilly.”_

“I will not argue in front of your operatives again.” She refrained from adding she still planned on taking care of the clone issue with or without his approval. “I should get back to work.”

“Were you dismissed?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at her father. “I’ve agreed to take my sister’s place. I’ve agreed to work to lull the Alliance into believing all is well. I’ve even agreed to connect with Lara’s fiancé while breaking off the engagement, and with _my_ mother and her friends to convince them of who I am. What more could you possible want of me? I let you fake my own death so it appeared both of us were dead. I haven’t asked for anything in return.”

“Until now.”

“Terminate the clone.”

“Fine.”

“I want to be there when you do it,” Tilly insisted.

“Don’t you trust me?” His lips twisted into a wry smile.

“Should I?”

He set his cigarette down and got to his feet.   Tilly followed him over to stare out at the planet below. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder to draw her over to his side. “You are my daughter.”

“You could replace me with a clone.”

“True.” He caught her elbow when she started to shove it into his side. “I’m sure a clone would be much easier to deal with and more agreeable to my demands.”

“ _Thanks.”_

“I didn’t say I’d prefer it.” He caught her by the shoulders as he turned to face her. “You _are_ my daughter. The only daughter I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know. I _love_ you. Miranda is not a threat to your place in my life, neither is the clone. If the clone makes you that uncomfortable, I will have it terminated from its cryogenic stage. If I do this, I want a promise from you.”

“Of what?” Tilly asked suspiciously.

“You will cease the hostilities between yourself and Ms. Lawson. You are better than that. You’re an intelligent woman with a talent for manoeuvring the people around you. Use it. I have no doubts you can find a way to co-exist with her and even use her to achieve your goals.” Her father wrapped his arm around her shoulder again to lead her towards the door. “Have lunch with me?”

“You’re the only father who encourages his child to exploit others.” Tilly never doubted her father’s care for her. She didn’t wonder at times about the _morals_ he chose to attempt to instil in his child. “Think the chef has any of the fish left over?”

“You’re the daughter of the Illusive Man. They’ll make whatever you want.” Her father guided her down the hall toward the lift which led directly to their private quarters and the dining room they shared. “Why are you ignoring Kai?”

“Ignoring him?” Tilly stepped out of her father’s embrace to lean against the wall on the opposite of the elevator. “I thought we agreed you would stay out of my love life.”

“ _Tilly.”_

“Kai hasn’t been the same since his last mission,” Tilly shrugged indifferently.

“He cares about you.” Her father had a gleam in his eyes which usually meant he was about to press her for answers on something. “I understand you met Admiral Hackett.”

“A year and a half ago.”

“How…”

“Oh. My. God.” Tilly pushed her dark blonde bangs out of her eyes impatiently. “Are you seriously trying to push me at Kai because you’re worried about Hackett? What the hell? I met the man once, Dad. Have you lost your grip on reality?”

“ _Matilda.”_

“I met Hackett for less than five minutes. Kai and I broke up for several reasons. I care about him, but I’m not forcing myself into a relationship because it’ll make my ‘daddy’ happy.” Tilly strode out of the elevator and down the hall toward the dining room which was part of the family apartments. She nodded absently toward the woman who kept their apartments cleaned before collapsing into one of the chairs to await their lunch. “The answer is no so stop attempting to think of a way to bribe, coerce or threaten me into agreeing.”

* * *

 

Her father sighed _loudly_.

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: T.H._

_Subj: re: Kaidan Alenko._

_I will inform both Alenko and your mother about what is happening. I may also inform Councillor Anderson. You’re going to need support if this is to work._

_When do you officially take up the mantle of your sister?_

_I have a mission which I’d like you to undertake. The Normandy’s crash site has been left mostly untouched. I’d appreciate it if you would collect any dogtags left on the site, and also pace a memorial. It seems only fitting for Lara’s twin to be the one to place it._

_Perhaps we could meet afterwards?_

_Steven_


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Hackett had always known Lara had a twin sister. He’d watched the young girl grow up, been very close to Hannah and helped keep both of them out of the Illusive Man’s grasp. If he were honest with himself, none of them had done much to attempt to help Matilda get away from the man.

While Hannah bitterly regretted not having any sort of relationship with her other daughter, Hackett knew she had focused all of her attention on Lara to make up for it. They were all in a bit of a quandary now with Lara’s death and Matilda taking her place. It would be beyond awkward when mother and daughter were finally reunited.

The other issue Hackett had was unlike Lara; Matilda seemed to ignite something in him. She had a bit of wild fire in her which Lara had never possessed.   _Commander Shepard_ had been very much like her mother, the quintessential Alliance officer who never strayed too far from the regs for any reason. She had possessed no temper whatsoever, but tended to remain almost emotionless about things.

Matilda differed greatly from her twin. She had a fiery temper which she seemed to keep great control over.   Lara had no guile to her and had a very deep sense of right and wrong. Her twin sister appeared to have inherited her father’s talents at manipulation.

It was the one thing that worried Hackett the most. He thought Matilda would do her best to do the right thing. He just wasn’t certain if she cared what methods she used to achieve that goal.

_Her father’s daughter indeed._

He knew the Cerberus _Normandy_ would be in action within the next week or so. Hannah and David were meeting with him on the Citadel. They had to put their heads together to decide how best to handle everything.

The best case scenario would be between himself, David, her mother and Kaidan that they could convince Matilda to begin working _for_ the Alliance. Hackett figured at the very least, perhaps they could soften some of the pro-humanity edges her father had instilled in her. He didn’t want to end up with a ‘Commander Shepard’ who cared for nothing, but the Cerberus agenda.

Taking her out would be the only option.

Could they take out Lara’s twin?

_Could he?_

“Steven? What in this world are you thinking about to put that frown on your face?” Hannah caught him by the arm to lead him into Anderson’s office. “Do you even realize you were standing, staring at the door for a good few minutes?”

He waved off Hannah’s concern. “Thinking about Lara…and Matilda.”

Hannah’s smile immediately vanished as if it hadn’t been there. “I’ve lost them both. Do you really believe we have a chance to sway Matilda away from her father?”

Hackett wanted to give her a definite _‘yes_ ,’but Hannah wouldn’t appreciate a lie. “I don’t know. We can only hope.”

“Hope?” Anderson joined in on the conversation after observing his two old friends. “I still don’t see how this plan of yours to lull Matilda into being comfortable around what was Lara’s Alliance family will help lure her away from Cerberus in the long run. What good will it do? From everything my sources can tell me, Matilda Harper is a hard-ass who has been groomed by the Illusive Man to be the perfect operative. She’s a talented kickboxer and graduated at the top of her class at her Ivy League school. Have you seen the press conferences with her?”

“ _David.”_ Hackett caught Hannah around the waist to guide her into a chair when her knees started to give out on her. “She’s also our friend’s daughter and the sister of someone we both mentored. Matilda might be daddy’s good little operative, but there’s part of Hannah in there as well. We can’t simply wash our hands of her.”

* * *

 

_From: Kai_

_To: Tilly_

_Subj: re: First Contact._

_Is it really wise to initiate contact this early with the Alliance?_

_I believe the Illusive Man wanted you to head to Omega first, get your feet wet with being Lara. I know you had an extensive conversation with him about this. I was under the impression you had agreed with his decision._

_Which leads me to a very simple question._

_What are you planning in that beautiful, manipulative head of yours? And am I going to need to cover for you?_

_Kai_

* * *

 

_From: Tilly_

_To: Kai_

_Subj: re: First Contact._

_You’ve never been able to keep up with my ‘beautiful head’ before, why try now?_

_I have a question of my own: Why didn’t you tell my dear father the truth about our break up? Hmm? Scared of what he’d do to you?_

_Tilly_

* * *

 

_From: I.M._

_To: Miranda Lawson_

_Subj: re: Matilda._

_If you suggest a control chip for my daughter again, I will allow her to demonstrate her abilities which I have asked her to restrain for your sake. _

_I asked my daughter to cease hostilities with you and I expect you to do the same._

_Matilda is the captain of the Normandy and the leader of the mission. Let her lead and respect her authority. I will not deal with you questioning my decisions or hers._

_And I have zero interest in debating anything with regards to the clone. The project is closed. I made a promise to my daughter and I intended to keep it. You would do well to remember that you are merely an operative, one of many within Cerberus._

_I have one living daughter._

_Keep me informed._

_I.M._

* * *

 

Tilly had been monitoring the movements of her mother and Admiral Hackett for the past few weeks. She knew the man wouldn’t be able to resist attempting to draw her away from her Cerberus family. _How could he?_ She thought it might be entertaining to watch.

She did so _love_ to be entertained.

While the _Normandy_ headed to the Citadel, Tilly spent an hour sparring with Jacob Taylor in the gym that had been added to the Shuttle Bay. They’d started out with basic hand to hand combat then switched up to the stick fighting she preferred. It had been a skill she’d studied for the past fifteen years or so.

Her father had brought in a sensei for her to study under as a gift for her sixteenth birthday. Tilly had spent a fair amount of time learning it until it became second nature. She moved so fluidly at times it seemed more a dance than a fighting technique.

It was one of the things which had drawn her to Kai as well. They’d spent a lot of time in the dojo her father built for her as friends at first then more.   She missed him at times, the man he’d been back then.

“Something wrong?” Jacob pulled back and let his rattan stick drop to his side.

Tilly shook her head at the man and offered a curt bow before turning away. “Let’s get cleaned up.”

She enjoyed sparring with Jacob, but he didn’t seem to appreciate her dark sense of humour. _His loss._ Dodging Kelly who tried to tell her a message from her father was waiting, she made her way up to her cabin for a hot shower to soothe her sore muscles. She figured they were about an hour from docking on the Citadel.

_Plenty of time to deal with her father._

She pulled on a clean pair of black fatigues and sent a vid-comm request to her father. “You were looking for me?”

“Why are you going to the Citadel?” He got straight to the point.

“I have a plan.”

“A good one or a bad one?” He raised an eyebrow before taking a puff on his cigarette. “How many credits will be required to keep you safe at the end of this plan?”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Tilly scoffed. “We know the Alliance will want to keep an eye on me. Even if they do suspect something, I’m going to have to attempt to stay close to Hannah and the rest of Lara’s friends. What better way than to initiate the first meeting?”

“ _Matilda.”_

“Trust me. I can do this.” Tilly had no intentions of her father finding out Hackett and the others knew her true identity. “Lara wouldn’t go on a mission first. She would contact her friends and family. I’m supposed to act like her, not my own uncaring self.”

Her father frowned at her and she waited for the lecture on disregarding his orders. She was surprised when he chose to berate her for something else instead. “We may not be the stereotypical Alliance poster-family, but that in no way means you are some emotionless mech.”

“Thanks?”

“Whatever you are planning, Matilda, do not forget your mission.” He ignored her confused gratitude. “Your mother will likely be emotional. Exploit it. If you run into anyone from ANN, remember that your sister was never fond of reporters and didn’t have your patience or ability to talk circles around them.”

“I know.”

“Do not disappoint me.”

She rolled her eyes at the now blank comm. “If you only knew.”

Tilly waltzed into Councillor Anderson’s office over an hour later without waiting for an invite. She glanced briefly at the blonde woman sitting to her right then over to the two men on her left. Hackett’s eyebrows rose when she dropped a small crate of dogtags into his lap.

“Should I pretend this isn’t awkward?” Tilly refused Anderson’s offer of a seat, preferring to stand while they stayed seated. She figured it would put them on edge where she wanted them. “Hello, mother.”


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

“She’ll never convince anyone that she’s Lara.” Hannah gave Tilly a look that was assessing and filled with disgust. “She’s too much like her damn father—rotten to the core.”

“Thank you.” Tilly lifted an eyebrow at her mother in bemusement before first wiping all emotion from her face then a moment later beaming at her mother in the friendly smile that was _all_ Lara Shepard. She adjusted the lilt of her voice slightly to mimic her twin’s perfectly. “Mom! It’s good to see you again. I missed you.”

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Anderson blinked at her in shock. “How…”

“Rotten as he may be, my father is a consummate chameleon when he needs to be.” Tilly lifted a shoulder in an effortless shrug. “Would you expect anything less from his daughter?”

“You don’t deserve to even pretend to be Lara.” Hannah seemed to still be heavily weighed down by grief for Lara. “You don’t deserve to be her twin.”

Tilly strode across the room purposefully and stepped menacingly into her mother’s personal space. “You left me. Remember? Don’t bitch at me because now you’ve lost the one you chose to save.”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

Tilly took another step until she was looming over her mother who was a good few inches shorter. “My father always taught me that in life—there is always a choice.”

“Unless he takes your choices away.” Hackett had been the calmest out of the Alliance officers. His blue eyes strayed over to meet hers several times. “You do realize how incredibly deadly this paragon of a father can be.”

“Paragon?” Tilly snorted highly amused. “I know all of his faults. I know them better than anyone in this room. You won’t accomplish your goals by attacking my father.”

“My goals?”

Tilly glanced absently down at one of her fingernails before responding. “As highly entertaining as I find you, Admiral, I believe I’ve fulfilled my duties as Commander Shepard. You have your dogtags. I’ve met my mother, charming as she is. It’s time for me to get back to my ship.”

“You spit on the ground your sister…”

Not giving Hannah a chance to finish, Tilly stormed across the room to grab her mother by the throat. She dragged her out of the chair and slammed her against a wall. She held her tightly while glaring menacingly at her.

“You don’t _know_ a thing about me, _mother_.” Tilly spat the word out like an insult. “You never bothered to find out about me. You’ve never bothered with me. Don’t _ever_ question me and my love for my twin _ever_ again. I’m not some weak-willed Alliance officer who needs a chain of command for protection.   We’re done here.”

Letting her mother go, Tilly shoved Anderson out of her way and stalked from the room. She reined in her temper and berated herself for not keeping better control. She’d learned years ago from her father how to think through bouts of high emotions.

There was a lingering bitterness with her mother that eroded her ability to control herself. Tilly loved her father dearly, but she’d always been left questioning why Hannah had only taken Lara with her. It was the one crack in the armour around her heart.

_Damn it._

“Going somewhere, commander?” Hackett dodged between the elevator doors to join Tilly. “That was quiet the display.

Tilly glanced up to find herself caught by the blue eyes she’d been dreaming about for over a year. She snapped for the second time in less than five minutes. She caught Hackett by the front of his uniform and dragged him closer until their lips met.   Their breaths seemed to catch in their throats in unison at the touch.

“What…”

“Better than the dream.” Tilly winked at him then walked casually from the elevator toward a nearby skycab terminal to make her escape. She guided the vehicle into traffic to head to the private docks Cerberus used while once again scolding herself. “You _will_ control yourself, Matilda, damn it. You’re a Harper. Get a grip on yourself.”

Ignoring the crew who all seemed to have questions for her, Tilly ordered Joker to head for Omega than headed up to her quarters. She walked inside only to find a familiar person sprawled on her couch. She swatted Kai on the head.

“What the hell are you doing?” She frowned at his beard. “You need to shave.”

“Can I borrow your bathroom?”

“Needy, needy prat.” Tilly waved him into the room. She’d seen the plans for the original, tiny bathroom and sneered at them in derision. Her father had offered to build a larger one for her as a birthday present. “Go on then. And while you’re shaving you can tell me what the hell you are doing on my ship?”

“I finished my mission early.” He raised an eyebrow when she followed him inside. “Well, not finished, but temporarily postponed.”

Tilly hopped up on the bathroom counter and swung her legs while watching Kai trim his beard. "My meeting with the Alliance idiots went well.”

"The Alliance will pay for tossing me to the wolves."

"I'll tell my father you called him a wolf." Tilly smirked at him. “And we were talking about me, not you.”

_"Tilly."_

"Fine." She reached over to wipe shaving cream from his ear. "The evil Alliance will pay. Back to me, my mother is a _pleasant_ woman; about as pleasant as that Krogan merc you killed. Hackett’s not so bad."

"Stop this absurd plan you have for amusing yourself by allow Hackett to 'help' you." Kai set his razor to the side. "It's dangerous."

"I can handle one man in a uniform, Kai. I did fine with you, didn't I?" She sneezed when he dabbed himself with aftershave. “Let’s get back to the important issue of why you are on the _Normandy.”_

“The Illusive Man thought…”

“Let me guess, Miranda’s threatening to put a chip in my head.” Tilly always enjoyed it when her father put people in their place. “And you’re here because?”

“You know why.” Kai shot a tired look at her.

“If you’re the stick, what’s the carrot?” Tilly glanced over him appraisingly. “I’ve seen your stick. It’s not impressive enough to frighten Lawson.”

“ _Matilda.”_

 

 

 


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Sitting on the edge of the tub in the privacy of her bathroom, Tilly stared at the datachip she’d left on the sink. It had contained information which had rocked her a little more than it should have—more than she wanted to admit.   She found herself at a lost for the first time in her life.

After recruiting Vakarian, Solus and Massani, the _Normandy_ had attempted the rescue of a missing Cerberus operative only to find him already dead. The Blue Suns having failed in their attempts to interrogate him. Tilly had taken the data found by the mercenaries for safe-keeping.

Her instincts had initially leaned toward immediately handing it over to her father. The natural curiosity in her along with her devious nature told her to hold it closer to her chest. It couldn’t hurt to decode it to see what had been so damn important.

_Right?_

Having a leg up on the Suns since the decryption codes were on her terminal, Tilly managed to decode the file relatively easily. She discovered the Cerberus connection to Racnhni experimentation along with the death of an Alliance Admiral. She had a vague recollection of Lara mentioning the man not long before her own tragic death.

“Tilly?”

She lifted her head when a knock sounded on the door. “Go away, Kai.”

Her father, even by his own account, had never been a saint. Tily knew him to be dangerous, manipulative and rather egotistical—traits he shared with his daughter. The blatant disregard for human life seemed so pointless.

Her father abhorred waste.

He also touted the needs for keeping human life as sacred.

Didn’t he?

“Don’t drown in there.”

Tilly sneered at the door since Kai could obviously hear the shower was off. “Go. _Away.”_

“The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you.” Kai pressed on despite her demand. “He’s waiting on the comm.”

“He can wait.”

“No, he can’t.”

“True,” Tilly admitted with a sigh. “ Give me a moment.”

Pulling up her omni-tool, Tilly accessed her non-Cerberus messaging account which was more secure and less likely to be monitored.   She changed the password daily. Her father had always made a point to only punish her if she was caught in the act of doing something he determined to be wrong.

Rewards were often given for _not_ getting caught in the act.

Not a typical parental lesson—the Illusive Man didn’t do _typical._

* * *

 

_From: T.H._

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: Advice._

_I don’t do this often…ever really._

_Lara once told me that I could trust you completely.  I’ve lived my entire life with an understanding that trust shouldn’t be given whole-heartedly to anyone. My father’s operatives are loyal to him first._

_But I find myself needing unbiased advice for once._

_Not that I think you don’t have your own prejudices against things I hold close._

_I’ve discovered some things which are disturbing to me._

_And I have no idea what to do with this new knowledge._

_T.H._

* * *

 

“Father.” Tilly raised an eyebrow at the vid-comm image of her father.

“Why haven’t you forwarded the data to me?”

“I’m doing very well father, thanks for asking. Lawson is annoying me constantly and Kai is getting in my way.” Tilly rambled on for a good five minutes before finally answering his question. “I do not trust Lawson. I plan on delivering the datachip to you in person. Is it wrong to want to spend time with my beloved father?”

“ _Matilda.”_

“Yes, _father_?”

“Do you plan on delivering your unwanted passenger to me as well?” He gave her a knowing look.

“I am certain that I no idea what you’re referring to.” She risked a small smile when he laughed.

“If you manage to get him off the ship and leave without getting caught by him, I’ll reassign him and get you one of the proto-types of the new armour. It should work well with your more fluid type of fighting.” Her father sounded _way_ too calm about her disregarding his orders. She raised an eyebrow at him and he continued after a moment. “I would like you to actively seek out Alenko.”

“What? Why?”

“He was your sister’s fiancé. It seems out of character for her to avoid meeting him after two years of being absent.” Her father took on the tone that usually meant pain for anyone who argued with him.

“ _Fine.”_ She paused dramatically then smiled broadly at him.

“What do you want?”

“An apartment on Elysium _without_ monitoring devices.”

“I would never…”

“I’ve already found four of them in my quarters.” She cut him off with a wave of her hand.

“Matilda…Tilly.” Her father shook his head then lit another cigarette. “I did _not_ place any sort of monitoring device in your bedroom. I may have done a number of questionable things in my past, but I’ve never once considering _bugging_ my own daughter’s bedroom.”

“ _Right.”_ She drew out the word necessarily long.

“Do I ever lie to you?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm.” He matched her wry smile with one of his own. “True, as do you. In this particular case, I’m not the one who made the decision.”

“Do I have your permission to handle the matter however I choose?” Tilly decided to test the waters.

The Illusive Man was a manipulative, lying bastard, but he was very protective of his daughter. Tilly wasn’t completely surprised when he readily gave her his permission.   She had a feeling who had placed the listening devices, but decided payback could wait.

“No permanent damage,” he cautioned.

“ _Fine.”_


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Telling Joker to head to the Cronus station, Tilly headed down to the fourth deck to have a little chat with their resident mercenary. Zaeed Massani had been a very interesting addition to their squad. He seemed to have little patience for Cerberus or the Alliance—precisely what she wanted.

She found him throwing knives at a target his quarters on the engineering deck. “Have a moment?”

“Why?”

Tilly waved the datapad in her hand at him. “Information on Vido Santiago, everything Cerberus has been able to dig up on him.”

“I already…”

“They didn’t give you everything.” Tilly grinned when the man uttered a few incredibly creative phrases. “Very inventive, Mr. Massani. I have a proposition for you.”

“Is that so, Sweetheart?” He gave her the most lecherous smirk she’d ever seen.

“If you could bring your mind away from the desires of your tiny head for the briefest of moments, I’d greatly appreciate it.” Tilly waved the datapad just out of his reach. “Are you interested?”

“Oh, I’m goddamn interested.” Zaeed put his knife away and held his hand impatiently out toward her. “Why would an Alliance officer back from the dead want to make a deal with a man like me?”

“Maybe I’m not who you think I am,” Tilly shrugged indifferently. “My loyalties are my own to deal with. I don’t trust many on this ship. I doubt you trust _anyone_.”

“So?”

“I need a paranoid bastard to monitor someone.” Tilly let him snatch the datapad from her. “Agreed?”

“Who?”

“Miranda Lawson.”

“You could ask the goddam crazy bald bitch to do it for you. She’d do it for free.” Zaeed’s comment stopped her as she made to leave.

“Yes, but I believe Jack wouldn’t be very impressed if she ever found out the truth about me.” Tilly had no doubts things would come to blows if the biotic ever realized the true depths of her connection to Cerberus and the Illusive Man. “If you can catch Lawson in the act of messing with my quarters, I’ll buy you a box of old-fashioned Cuban cigars.”

“Those are illegal.”

“And?” Tilly winked at him. “Don’t get caught.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: T.H._

_Subj: re: Advice._

_When are you due to head to the Citadel next?_

_I think it’s safest to discuss this in person._

_Steven_

* * *

 

Staring moodily at the burning embers of his cigarette, the Illusive Man considered his recent conversation with his daughter. She was up to something. He didn’t know what, but had a feeling it was more than simply getting Leng off of her ship.

Then again, Matilda was _always_ up to something.

He glanced over at where his daughter was currently muttering to one of his scientist—Dr. Webber. Matilda had always been closed to the man. He’d been her tutor until his influence over Matilda became a little _too_ great.

Webber had also made the mistake of questioning the Cerberus head about his priorities. He could still remember the scientist’s question regarding Matilda. It was something that kept him up at night frequently.

‘If forced to choose, would you pick your daughter or Cerberus? Could you kill your child?’

Over ten years those two questions had swirled around in his mind without an answer, he still couldn’t say for absolutely certainty whether he’d pick one over the other. It ate at him enough to have finally ordered the man’s assassination.

His death could wait until Matilda was back on her ship. Leng would be a good choice for it. He had no doubts his daughter would manage to trick the operative into staying behind when the _Normandy_ departed in an hour or two.

“You’re going to do something I won’t like.”

He glanced up in surprise to find his daughter had joined him and the others had made a discrete withdrawal. “Not for the first time, nor for the last.”

She canted her head to the side while watching him cautiously. “I’m heading back to the _Normandy._ ”

“And Leng?”

“Kai is retrieving something I don’t need from the research lab. He’ll be a while.” Matilda smiled mischievously at him. “I’m sure you’ll find something useful for him to do.”

“Indeed.”

“If you’re going to murder someone I care about, I’d prefer not to know in advance.” Her blue eyes held a host of emotions that he couldn’t decipher. “Your operatives do not keep secrets as well as you think.”

“Matilda...”

“Good afternoon, father.” She strolled out of the room without waiting for a dismissal.

* * *

 

_From: Father_

_To: Matilda_

_Subj: Webber._

_Where is he?_

_We found no footage of him leaving the station and Lawson informs me that he isn’t on the Normandy._

_You were the last person to speak with him._

_What have you done, Matilda?_

_Father_

* * *

 

_From: Matilda_

_To: Father_

_Subj: re: Webber._

_I have no idea what you’re talking about._

_I did speak to him about how the mission was going and his most recent research project. I have no idea where he is._

_Cronus is a large station, perhaps he’s lost?_

_Tilly_

 


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Stepping into her twin’s apartment on one of the colonies not far from Arcturus, Tilly felt an uneasy shiver go down her spine. Hackett hadn’t mentioned bringing friends to their meeting. She glared at the three men in the room with him—Anderson, Alenko and a third man who from his uniform was a major.

“I can’t handle this.” Alenko’s eyes seemed filled with tears as he rushed from the living room toward a nearby door which likely led to a bedroom.

“What on earth did she ever see in him?” Tilly sneered at Alenko’s retreating back. “Do marines often break down in tears?”

“You really are your father’s daughter,” Anderson remarked disapprovingly. “Have some compassion.”

“Compassion? Tears should be shed in private, Councillor. Don’t you teach your marine anything about self-preservation and showing strength?” Tilly spoke to Anderson, but kept an eye on the as yet unnamed marine. He was taller than both the higher ranking officers in the room. He looked _intimidating_ particularly since he kept inching towards her with his hands clenched into large fists. “You should stay over there.”

He gave her an almost feral grin. “Who’s going to stop me? You? You’re not even armed or in armour for that matter.”

“How pleasant.”

With a belaboured sigh, Tilly reached back to retrieve the slender four inch rod from her back pocket. She pressed the button which caused it to pop into its much longer five foot form. She kept the fighting staff with her at all times since it shrunk into such a compact size. She spun the stick around in intricate moves between her hands before finally releasing it to catch the Alliance twit in the jaw. He dropped to the floor like a felled tree.

“Test me again, gentlemen, and I will do more than simply knock the person on their ass.” Tilly absently twirled her staff in her hands while refocusing her attention on Hackett. “So what does the Alliance have on my father?”

“Excuse me?” Anderson asked while checking on the still knocked out major.

“I’m not a damn fool. I know you have dirt on the Illusive Man.” She shrunk her staff and shoved it back into the pocket of her fatigues. “So?”

“That’s classified.” Anderson helped the major to his feet.

“Oh, I see. You want this to be a one-way street of information.” Tilly’s eyes narrowed on the still silent admiral. “Why am I here, Hackett? I’ll tell you now; I don’t have the patience Lara had for the weakness of the Alliance.”

“We haven’t been introduced.”

Tilly raised an eyebrow in mild disdain at the large hand being held out to her. “No, we haven’t.”

“Major Declan Coats.” He grabbed her hand and shook it firmly. “Lara Shepard was a good friend of mine. We trained together during our N7 course.”

“My sister and I took different paths.” Tilly restrained the urge to yank her hand away from him. She knew men like Coats would pounce on weakness not unlike her father though perhaps for different reasons. He was testing her to see if she had her sister’s metal. “I will break your jaw if you attack me again.”

“Good.” He snapped a salute at Hackett then winked at her. “I’ll be in touch.”

Tilly watched the man leave with a bewildered frown. She glanced over at a chuckling Hackett. “Does the Alliance specifically look for the mentally or emotionally unstable or was my sister prone to drawing in those types?”

“Don’t mock…”

Tilly waved off the indignant lecture Anderson was about to start. “Why don’t you go console Alenko? I’d like to talk to Hackett _alone_ without a nagging prelate preaching at me.”

Hackett motioned toward the chair across from his. “How are you doing?”

She deflated slightly at the honest concern in his eyes. “I am _conflicted._ ”

“Dr. Webber wanted me to assure you that he’s doing fine. He’s working at one of our secure research facilities.” He leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “He cares about you a great deal.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t use him against you.”

Tilly smiled bitterly at the Admiral. “Tell me about my father.”

“Hmm.” Hackett leaned back in his chair and rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “How much did Lara tell you about the things she discovered during the geth war?”

“Some, not much.” Tilly had known her sister kept much from her. Lara never seemed to fully trust her with Alliance secrets. “I know she suspected Cerberus was involved in the deaths of marines going back to Akuze.”

“She didn’t suspect.” Hackett pulled a datachip from his pocket to toss to her.   “There’s a terminal at the desk over there. Take a look at the information and then we’ll talk.”

Over an hour later, Tilly stumbled back from the terminal shaking her head in utter disbelief. She ignored Hackett and strode from the apartment only to stop mid-step at the sight of Coats leaning casually against her shuttle. She started to reach for her staff when he simply shook his head and held out a cigarette for her.

“Your sister always worried about what would happen if your father ever suspected you had doubts about Cerberus and his mission.” Coats lit the cigarette for her then went back to puffing on his own. “Your father’s a right bastard, but he appears to have cared a great deal about you.”

“Appears?”

“If you asked your father the truth about what Hackett showed you, what do you think he’d do?” Coats blew a puff of smoke toward her. “Scared to answer?”

“I’d keep your speculations about my relationship with my father to yourself. It’s likely above your pay grade.” Tilly took a calming inhale of the sweet clove cigarette then frowned at the man. “What does it matter to you in any case?”

“Lara was like a little sister.” Coats flicked his cigarette carelessly to the ground. “She made me promise to look out for you if anything ever happened to her.”

“Why?”

“You saw the files.”

“My father…”

“Just think about things carefully. Lara always told me you were the more cunning twin. Use it to make up your own mind.” He strolled away from her back toward the apartment. “Good work with the staff. You’re better than your sister was.”

“Major?”

Coats turned back around toward her. “Hmm?”

“Did Lara really trust Hackett and the others?”

“Hackett and myself? With her life? Anderson? To a point. She loved Alenko more than life itself.” Coats seemed to argue with himself briefly before continuing. “She cared for your mother, but didn’t trust her completely either.”

“Why?”

“You.”


	9. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Horizon had been awkward at best. Under the guise of Commander Shepard, Tilly attempted a congenial meeting with Alenko.   Hackett and Coats had both warned her that her sister’s fiancé would be on the colony. He had unfortunately not been thrilled with her attempt at a gesture of _kindness._

He seemed particularly affronted when Tilly tried greeting him with a kiss and he’d shoved her away rather violently.  She’d lost a bet with Massani on that one.   Garrus had been almost as amused as Joker who she could hear cackling in her ear.

“He always this goddamn…” Massani seemed unable to come up with an appropriate word to describe Alenko.

“He is.” Tilly couldn’t fathom what had attracted her sister to the mild-mannered Alliance officer. She turned to Alenko in an attempt to salvage the meeting if only for the sake of her need to pretend to be Lara. “Kaidan…”

“Don’t.” Alenko’s fingers rested tightly on the pistol holstered on his side. “We are through. I won’t be a party to this charade. Admiral Hackett can toss me in the brig if he doesn’t like it. I refuse to spit on Lara’s memories with someone like you.”

“Weak bastard.” Massani started toward the man, but Tilly and Garrus held him back.

“He’s got a broken heart.” Garrus spoke once they’d stepped into the waiting Cerberus shuttle. “This can’t be easy on him.”

“He’s a goddamn marine.” Massani offered Tilly a cigarette from the pack he kept on him at all times. She readily accepted while ignoring the pilot’s complaints.

They sat arguing about the Alliance’s failure to train their marines with emotional fortitude until they arrived on the _Normandy._ She told Joker to set a course for Illium. Alenko had left a bad state in her mouth which left a need for immediate entertainment to wash it out.

Tilly had initially intended for the _big secret_ to be held back from everyone on the ship aside from a few key individuals. It ended up being necessary to inform the core group of that went with her on missions—Massani and Garrus.   Joker had figured it out on his own. It seemed Lara Shepard didn’t drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and threaten her XOs.

“Commander?”

Tilly lowered the datapad in her hand to find Lawson standing in her quarters. She’d been too focused on reading through some of the reports on Cerberus that she’d borrowed from the crazy biotic holed up underneath the engineering deck to hear the door open. “Hmm?”

Lawson dropped her normal façade and stormed across the room to loom over Tilly. Her biotics flared around her clenched fists. “What the _hell_ are you doing?”

“Reading.” Tilly twisted the datapad back and forth in her hand. “You should try it sometime. It’s very relaxing.”

“No, not that.” Lawson smacked the datapad out of her hand and the momentum carried it across the room. “You have Massani spying on me.”

Tilly slowly got to her feet until she was eye to eye with Lawson, not quite since she had about two inches on the operative. Her eyes narrowed when the woman reached out to touch her. “I would highly recommend you rethink whatever fuck is going on in your little mind.”

“Why you…” Lawson stuttered to a stop when she realized her biotics had failed. “What the hell?”

“It’s a handy device Dr. Webber worked on before he disappeared.” Tilly lifted a tiny black box out of her pocket. She twisted it around so Lawson could see the on/off switch. “It’s a biotic dampener. He thought it might come in handy. It appears it has.”

“I don’t need my biotics…”

Tilly caught Lawson by the neck and with a quick move of her leg took the woman down to the ground. She knelt with her knee pressing into her neck. “I’ve had the same training as you have, better even. I could snap your neck and my father wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at me aside from congratulating me for not getting caught if I managed to dispose of your body without anyone seeing.”

“I…”

“You put monitoring devices in my private quarters. You informed members of this crew of my true identity _without_ my permission. You’ve been an annoying little bitch for the last time.” Tilly pressed harder then eased off of Lawson. “Fall in line, or I’ll be sure to inform my father of your _many_ failings.”

“He wouldn’t…”

She stopped the argument with added pressure from her knee. “This seems hard for you to grasp, but there are rare moments when my father proves his parental affection. He’s been overdue one for a while. I might call on it just for you.”

“I understand.”

“I thought you might. Now get the fuck out of my quarters.” Tilly got to her feet and dragged Miranda up to her feet. She shoved the woman into the elevator when it opened and spun on her heel to head back into her quarters.  She kicked the nearby desk in annoyance. “Fucking bitch.”

With a sly grin, Tilly turned to the nearby terminal to exact a little deserved revenge. When the _Normandy_ had been built—for the second time, she had made certain to have the techs add a fail-safe to EDI’s programming. It took a single command code for her to greatly restrict that control Lawson had over the ship and the AI.

Since that was handled, Tilly grabbed the datapad from the floor and went back to reading. Pragia had been the site of one of the many projects that her father had kept hidden from her. She felt sickened by what Jack had told her about her days at the facility.

Four days later, Tilly was once again ordering Joker to Cronos station. Her mission with Liara to investigate what exactly the Shadow Broker had been doing led to several interesting discovers about various men in her life. It also brought her to more of an understanding about why Lawson was the way she was. She still disliked the woman, but tried not to antagonize her unnecessarily.

Stalking through the long corridors which lead up to her father’s _office,_ Tilly tried to figure out how precisely to confront the Illusive Man about the things she’d learned. It wasn’t a conversation to look forward to. She wouldn’t back down from having it though.

“Tilly?”

She ignored Kai who attempted to halt her from making her way into the room. “Move.”

“I can’t…”

“Move or I will remove your testicles from your body.” Tilly strode past him into the room the moment her stepped aside. She came to a halt at the sight of her father lounging in his chair with a woman on her knees in front of him. “Oh for the love of fucking… _honestly.”_

“Get. _Out.”_

Tilly crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow in disdain at her father. “Me? Or the whore on the floor?”

“Matilda, do not test me.” Her father’s face looked a little flushed and her lips twitched in amusement which seemed to anger him further. “I said _out._ ”

“I heard you the first time, father.” Tilly absently flipped her hair off of her shoulders. “We have things to discuss, could you perhaps finish up quickly? I understand old age generally causes rather speedy ejaculation.”

“ _Matilda.”_

“Yes?” She queried casually.

“Leave. I would hate to have to punish my only daughter.” Her father had slid from embarrassed anger into callous rage which was never good for anyone. “ _Now.”_

Retracing her steps, Tilly waited until the door slid shut behind her to collapse on the floor in a fit of laugher. Kai leaned against the nearby wall with a smirk on his face. She flipped her middle finger at him while slowly regaining her composure.

“You couldn’t have warned me?” She glared at her ex-boyfriend.

“I like my testicles on my body.”

“ _Bastard.”_

“Me or your father?”

“ _Matilda._ ” Her father’s voice boomed out as the door behind them opened.

“He appears to have finished.” Tilly sneered at the woman who skulked past them down the hall.

Leaving Kai to his own devices, Tilly strolled calmly toward her father who looked beyond pissed off at her. She let her eyes scan over him to his discomfort which made her laugh when he adjusted his clothing uncomfortably. She stood with her back to him trying to organize her thoughts.

“I have worked hard to keep certain things away from you.” He started only to come up short when she snorted loudly. “You _will_ show me respect, Matilda.”

“Yes, Sir.” Tilly twisted around to face him. “What should we discuss first? The numerous women who frequent your bed? Or perhaps we might talk about the fact that you lied about my mother leaving me behind? Or even better, let’s delve into the Cerberus facility on Pragia which tortured and murdered children?”

“What did I just say?”

With a measured look and a heavy sigh, Tilly decided she’d been on a fool’s mission. She shook her head and slowly started for the door. Her father caught up to her and blocked her path.

“Tilly.”

“Hmm?” She retrieved the shrunken stick from her pocket and enlarged it.

While her father gave her a wide-berth, Tilly worked out her almost uncontrollably aggression in the open space of his office. She spun the stick and jumped around the room in intricate moves until sweat soaked her fatigues and her breath came in short gasps.   He offered her an ice-cold bottle of water when she’d finally come to a halt.

“You _will_ be silent while I address some of your accusations.” He guided her toward the only chair in the room and shoved her down into it.

“Has this been sanitized?” She grimaced down at the chair.

“ _Matilda.”_

“Yes?” She blinked up at him with innocent eyes.

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it while frowning at her. “I’d be upset if I weren’t so proud you’ve managed to perfect that look.”

“So you’ve mentioned before.”

After several puffs on his cigarette, her father began to pace in front of her. He chose to start with Pragia, claiming to have no idea how out-of-control the facility had gotten before it had been shut down. He might’ve given authority for biotic testing, but not for torturing and murdering children.

“Your mother…” He tapped a finger against his side for a moment then started again. “Hannah Shepard was Alliance through and through. We would never have engaged in anything more than a fling. It was a terrible idea which led to two beautiful little girls. She would never have gone silently and Cerberus didn’t need any scrutiny from the Alliance at the time. You bonded with me from the start. Your mother could never get you to quiet down. Lara was the opposite. At the time, it seemed wisest to allow her to have one daughter if it kept her quiet.”

“Then why let her lie?”

“It kept her quiet about the truth,” he shrugged indifferently.

“But…”

“Matilda.”

“Yes?”

“If you ever storm into my private rooms then proceed to callously and rudely insult one of my guests again, I will find Webber and destroy him in the most painful way possible. Are we clear?” Her father flicked the ashes of his cigarette to the floor while watching her with cold, blue eyes. “Well?”

Tilly shrunk her fighting stick and shoved it into her pocket. “How many credits did it take to get the Alliance to leave me with you?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m no fool. And I’m your daughter. That story might be true, but it’s not the _whole_ story, is it?” She had found a number of documents on the Shadow Broker’s systems.

The legal documents had been of particular interest. Hannah’s blatant lie about running for safety had caused repercussions within the Alliance. They hadn’t wanted to leave an infant with a black op group like Cerberus.

“I wasn’t letting you go.” Her father jammed his cigarette into a nearby ashtray with short, angry movements. “I have always been a jealous man. I wanted your first words, the first time you walked and every other first for myself. Hannah had Lara. She couldn’t have you as well.”

Tilly felt all the residual anger deflate from her. She accepted the hand her father held out to her as he pulled her into his arms. “We are _never_ going to be a normal family.”

“Do attempt to stop insulting and threatening my operatives.”

“No.”

“What will it cost me?” Her father wisely switched tactics.

“An apartment on the Citadel since you refused to get me one on Elysium.” Tilly smirked when his eyes narrowed. “I will even stop verbally sparring with Lawson—unless she provokes me excessively.”

“You truly are my child.”

“Disturbing, isn’t it?”

* * *

 

_From: T. H._

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Pragia._

_I don’t have an answer to your question._

_What would it take to turn me against my father?_

_What kind of question is that anyway?_

_He’s my father. He’s a manipulative, callous bastard at times, but still my father._

_Did Anderson or Hannah put you up to that question?_

_Tilly_


	10. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

For the first time in her life, Tilly Harper had gotten drunk—falling down, slurring her words, room spinning drunk. She’d chosen to do so in the security and privacy of her brand-new apartment. It was in the ritziest part of the Citadel and impressively furnished.

It was beautiful and hers.

Her father’s way of apologizing without apologizing.

Her state of bleariness had been a direct result of the reason an apology was necessary, at least in her opinion. It started innocently enough with a massive argument with him over the supposed disabled collector. Tilly always considered that sort of lie to be inexcusable.

And then an emergency hail came from Aite asking for immediate assistance. Tilly had defied her father once again by sending David Archer to Grissom Academy with a little help from Major Coats. She’d also shot Gavin Archer between the eyes without a second of hesitation.

The Illusive Man had _not_ been amused. Tilly had known he would follow up on his threat to punish her if she crossed him again. She hadn’t expected his response to be the lifeless body of Webber. It had been waiting for her by the airlock on Illium when she returned to the _Normandy_ after finishing up with Thane.

So she drank.

No matter how much Tilly drank, she couldn’t get the image out of her mind. She sunk into an uneasy sleep.   Her nightmares filled with accusatory dead eyes, poisoned daggers and her father.

“Open the hell up.”

The shout was followed by a series of bangs on the front door which shook Tilly out of her sleep. She stumbled to the door with an empty bottle of her father’s most expensive liquor to beam it at the person interrupting her sleep the moment the door opened. She smirked at the Alliance Officer who glared at her angrily.

“The fuck?” Coats dodged the bottle then darted forward to get inside before she closed the door. “I see you heard the news.”

“Didn’t have to _hear_ anything.” Tilly didn’t bother asking what he meant. “I found his body.”

“Damn.”

“It was a warning.” Tilly dropped down onto the couch. “One too many arguments with my father, Webber paid the price for my insolence.”

“It’s not…”

“Spare me the platitudes, I’m not Lara, I don’t need them.” Tilly sank into the cushions with one arm up to cover her eyes. She suddenly wished for the euphoric feeling from her earlier alcoholic haze. “You were supposed to keep him safe.”

“Me?”

“The Alliance.” Tilly spat the word like the dirtiest word in her vocabulary. “Weak bastards.”

“Oi!”

Tilly dropped her arm to raise an eyebrow at him questioningly. “He’s dead by my father’s orders while in the Alliance’s famed protection. How could you not keep one man safe?”

“Your father…”

“Acted true to who he is. I expected nothing less.”

“And that’s okay with you?”

“It is _predictable._ ” Tilly lifted her shoulders lazily. “I tested the lines which my father drew in the sand. I knew he would find a way to reprimand me.”

“And? Are you seriously telling me that your loyalties are still with Cerberus? Still with the man who murdered someone you care about?” Coats shook his head at her in obvious disbelief. “What the hell will it take for you to see him for what he is?”

“Who says I don’t?” Tilly had already through of at least four ways to exact a little revenge on her father. “Speaking of Cerberus, I have information the Alliance might find useful.”

“Oh?”

“Not you, it has to be sent to the right person for it to work.” Tilly brought her omni-tool up. “Give me a moment, Declan, and I’ll let you take me out for breakfast.”

“You’ll let me?”

“Well, yes.”

* * *

 

_From: T.H._

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: Cerberus Operatives._

_Includes with this message you will find a document listing the names of every single Cerberus operative currently working undercover within Alliance special operations._

_It’s a very tight-knit, secretive group of about fifteen individuals._

_Consider it a gift._

_Deal with them as you will. Though if I might make a recommendation, instead of simply ridding yourself of the bugs, you might consider infiltrating the infiltrators and feeding them false information. Control the information they receive._

_Just a thought._

_Tilly_

* * *

 

“Shouldn’t you be out there pretending to be Lara?” Hackett handed Tilly a cup of coffee as he stepped into her apartment.   He lifted the container in his hand. “Pastry?”

“No.” Tilly sniffed the spiced coffee appreciatively before taking a sip. “My father expects me to plot. I am plotting. Did my information prove useful?”

Hackett smiled at her as he nodded. “Extremely useful.”

“He’ll discover the leak eventually,” Tilly remarked absently. Hackett realized she was aware that her father would no doubt quickly realize that his network of spies had been compromised. “You won’t have an excessive amount of time to exploit this breach.”

“Why put yourself at risk like this?” Hackett got a brief glimpse of pure grief and weariness in her eyes before it disappeared. “Tilly?”

“My father made a play for my queen. It’s my turn to move.” Tilly wandered toward the kitchen and returned with plates for the pastries which he’d brought for breakfast.

“Your life isn’t a chess match.”

Tilly arched an eyebrow at him dubiously. “On the contrary, it is the most important game that I’ll ever play.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“And yet that hasn’t stopped you from using not only my position, but the information I can provide?” Tilly’s smile was cold, calculating and ruthless. “You are pragmatic, Admiral, and I admire that. Don’t attempt to mask it within empty words of kindness and support. I neither need them nor do they change the fact that you’ll use the information whether or not it leads my father back to me as the source of his leak.”

“Matilda.”

“Thank you for the coffee.” Tilly raised the glass in salute. “Please leave.”

“Your father did a number on you.” Hackett shook his head at her. He wanted to reach her, to save her in a way that he couldn’t for Lara. “Not everyone uses the people they care about.”

“No?” Tilly set the coffee down on the counter. “I bow to your obvious superior knowledge on the subject. But I do have to ask, what precisely have you been doing if it isn’t attempting to use me for my access to Cerberus?”

“I…”

“What I admire most about my father is he never bothers to pretend he is anything but what he is.” She paused while pulling the small shrunken staff which she seemed to carry with her at all times. She enlarged it and back moving it in intricate circles around her body. “He’s not a good man. Are you a good man? What makes you a good man? Hmmm?”

“I have rules and morals.”

“Decided by whom?” Tilly strode across the kitchen until she stood in front of him. “You have rules and morals? Good for you. What will you do with those when you’re given the choice to save thousands or save the one you care about? Hmm? Would you sacrifice one to save the many? Would you allow a person without rules and morals to go free because it would in the end save lives?”

“Matilda.”

“I am so weary of the Alliance thinking they have the higher ground on everyone else.” Tilly pressed her staff against Hackett’s neck and used it to back him up toward the door. “Get out and take your self-righteous concern with you.”

“You can bury your fear underneath your mask of indifference, Matilda, but when you’re ready for help. I’ll still be here.” Hackett used his forearm to block the swing of the fighting stick then decided it would be best to leave before they came to actual blows. “You are _not_ your father.”

“I might as well be.” Matilda’s whispered response followed him out of the apartment.

“Not if I can help.”


	11. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Once Hackett left her alone, Tilly spent two more days alone, working out at her apartment. Her father would probably start growing concerned at her prolonged silence.  She usually struck back much faster—let the bastard stew on it. Her father had stepped over a line which he’d previously avoided with her and she had no doubts that he knew it.

The question on Tilly’s mind currently was how far over the line had her father gone. Was it an unforgiveable step? The introduction of so many Alliance types in her life had confused her.

Collapsing on her back on the middle of the made which she used for working out, Tilly stared up at the ceiling hoping for answers. She’d never really looked too deeply into the things her father did or the things she had done in his name. She wasn’t entirely certain the introspection was a good thing.

“Matilda.”

Tilly acknowledged her father’s uninvited presence in her apartment with nothing more than a raised eyebrow.   She ignored his not so subtle cough and his nudging of her leg with his foot. He finally crouched down beside her to _demand_ her attention.

“Father.”

“You’ve never ignored me for so long,” he remarked reprovingly. “I do _not_ approve.”

“You killed I man a cared about.” Tilly slowly sat up to frown at him. “Would you like flowers by way of thank you?”

“It was necessary.”

“For?”

“Showing…”

“Showing me what? Showing me how dangerous you are to your own child?” Tilly snorted at him derisively. “I wasn’t aware that I should fear my own parent.”

_“Matilda.”_

“You can’t have it both ways. Are you my father? The one who raised me from infancy, the one who catered to my every need, or are you the Illusive Man who has no heart?” Tilly got to her feet and left the room without bothering to wait for a response. She made her way into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee which she heavily spiked with her favourite chocolate liquor to fortify herself.

“You know better than anyone that our lives are not simple or black and white.” Her father leaned against the counter watching her every move. “You’ve never cared before about my tactics.”

“They have never been used quite so brutally against me.” Tilly added a dash of spice to her coffee. She’d been trying to recreate the kind Hackett had brought to her without success. “I am your daughter.”

“And?”

“I can be equally brutal when required.” She poured him a cup of coffee with a dash of cream. “And will be.”

“What have you done?” His eyes narrowed though he readily accepted the coffee she held out. “What did you do, Matilda?”

“You’ll find out eventually.” She smiled serenely while sipping from her own cup. “Remember that you crossed the line before I did.”

“I won’t apologize.”

“You never do.” Tilly’s smile broadened at the obvious flash of anger. He must’ve been truly worried about losing her if he actually deigned to show emotion of any sort. “Why are you here?”

Her father never really gave an answer for why he’d randomly shown up at her apartment. Tilly felt relieved when he left. The sudden rush of emotion made her sadder than she’d felt in a long time.

Emotions weren’t her strong suit. The sadness made her furious which she decided to channel into causing the Illusive Man pain. He’d had a point when he mentioned that she usually struck back quickly.

It only took Tilly an hour to track down the most annoying member of her Cerberus crew. She wouldn’t miss Kelly Chambers, but her father would. The Illusive Man relied on the annoying twit for frequent updates on their missions and likely for keep tabs on his daughter.

She was sighting the woman with her rifle when a hand rested on her shoulder. Spinning around with her weapon up, she froze when she realized it was Hackett who was now held at gun point against a wall. The Admiral simply reached up to catch the weapon and eased it down.

“You are _not_ your father. You don’t need to kill to prove yourself to anyone.” Hackett had his fingers wrapped firmly around the rifle to keep her from pulling it away.

Tilly snorted at him derisively. “You know _nothing_ about me or my father.”

“I know there’s a good person in you.”

“You know _nothing.”_ Tilly wrenched the weapon away from him and return to her sniper nest. Her finger itched to pull the trigger yet her blind rage had dissipated. “Blasted Alliance bastards.”

“Let me buy you coffee.”

“Touch me and I’ll put a bullet through your skull.”

“No, you won’t.” Hackett caught her by the arm to help her up to her feet.

Tilly moved fluidly in his grasp until she had him backed against the wall for a second time. “You would be wise not to confuse me for my sister. I am not in need of a father figure in my life.”

With surprising strength, Hackett flipped them around and caught both of her wrists in his hand. He leaned forward so their lips were barely a flick of the tongue apart. Tilly kept a firm grasp over her thoughts and emotions, refusing to show the man any sort of reaction.”

“You don’t need a father figure, and I sure as hell don’t want you to see me as one.” Hackett closed the distant until each word caused his lips to brush against hers. “You need a lover. Someone to show you a little tenderness.”

“And just went I didn’t think the Alliance could get any weaker.”

Hackett drew his knee up between her legs then caught her bottom lip between his teeth causing Tilly to melt just a little against him. “There’s nothing weak about me.”

 


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

While Tilly focused her energies on pretending to be her sister—the hero, Hackett, Coats and Anderson worked on carefully manoeuvring the Cerberus moles into more manageable positions. Within a week, they had not only managed to get their leaks stopped, but created a flow of false information back to the Illusive Man.  They knew it would only be a matter of time before the deception was discovered.

Hackett had been surprised by how blasé Tilly was about betraying Cerberus. Both Anderson and Coats had warned him to leave the matter alone, but he couldn’t. The way the father and daughter interacted was dysfunctional to say the least and definitely worrying.

There had never been any sort of romantic intentions with Lara Shepard. She’d seen Hackett as a mentor, almost an uncle. Tilly didn’t seem to want to fall into that category. She ignited a different sort of fire within him.

“Steven?”

Hackett glanced up to find Hannah Shepard in the doorway of his borrowed office in the embassy on the Citadel. “Hannah. Aren’t you supposed to be on a ship on your way to Elysium?”

“My daughter…”

“Have you finally remembered that you had two or are you referring to your beloved, but deceased Lara?” Hackett leaned back in his chair while assessing the woman in front of him. “You were unnecessarily cruel on Intai’sei.”

“I’m grieving…”

Hackett sighed deeply before rubbing a hand tiredly across his face. “Matilda is still your daughter.”

“How…” Hannah seemed to struggle internally for several minutes before trying again. “How is she doing?”

“Do you actually care?”

“I…yes.”

“She copes remarkably well.”

“Meaning she’s her father’s daughter,” Hannah remarked bitterly.

“Might I remind you it took two parents to make that daughter?” Hackett had no intentions of getting involved in family issues—further involved. “Why don’t you try talking to her?”

“How?” Hannah dropped into a nearby chair so suddenly Hackett wondered if her legs had given out on her. “I’ve no idea how to talk to her without feeling the need to disparage her father.”

“Why?”

“Guilt.”

“It’s a bit late for that, Hannah.”

“I know.”

* * *

 

_From: Kai Leng_

_To: Tilly Harper_

_Subj: Internal Investigation._

_Do you have any idea why the Illusive Man is on a rampage? He’s ordered an investigation into all of our undercover operatives._

_Did you do something?_

_I’d get your ass to Cronos if you did to talk your way out of trouble._

_Kai_

* * *

 

In the month it took to wrap up all the errands for her crew, Tilly ignored the multiple hails from her father along with the growing attraction to an Admiral who was dangerous for her composure. She had a feeling if she’d strayed toward the Citadel or Illium, her father would’ve found a way onto the _Normandy_. He tended to be annoyingly persistent when provoked to anger.

Lawson made one attempt to force the issue, but backed off when both Massani and Krios threatened to eject her out of the airlock. Tilly had been surprised by the assassin’s help. He seemed to feel like he owed her after her help with his son.

They had just wrapped up the last mission to help the bizarre geth they’d found while obtaining the Reaper IFF.   The _Normandy_ was ready to head into the Omega-4 Relay. Tilly could deal with her father fateward. If they didn’t survive, then she didn’t have anything to worry about.

“The Illusive Man…”

Tilly turned from her terminal on the CIC to scowl at Lawson. “He needs a lesson in patience.”

“We don’t like each other.” Lawson had apparently decided to go for the obvious. “But he is still your father.   You should speak to him before we cross into the relay.”

Telling Joker to prepare for the jump, Tilly reluctantly made her way toward the Comm Room for what would likely be a tense conversation. She’d handled her father’s anger before so it wasn’t as if this were the first time. If he knew about the operatives she’d given up, there was no doubt in her mind that he would see this as a betrayal.

_Perhaps something unforgiveable._

“Have you forgotten who you work for, Matilda?” Her father’s voice had a cold edge to it which didn’t bode well for anyone.

“You gave me a mission. I am accomplishing it. What more could you possibly have to say to me, father?” Tilly needed to keep the conversation as far away from the Alliance as possible. “We’re heading through the relay in a moment.”

“Ahh.” He seemed very interested in his cigarette for a long while before finally deciding to continue with the conversation. “End the collectors, retrieve any information which we can use against the reapers, and return safely to Cronos.”

“Anything else?”

“You _will_ return safely to Cronos.” He took several long drags on his cigarette.

“Will I?” Tilly rolled her eyes. “Enjoy your cigarette. I have things to do.”

“Matilda.”

“ _Father?_ ”

“Return safely.”

“So you’ve said three times now, why don’t you say what you really want to say?” Tilly rolled her eyes at the absurdness of the conversation. “Are you worried about me? Want me to come home safely before my curfew so you don’t have to go all parental?”

“You are my daughter. Don’t mock my care and concern.”

“Care and concern?” Tilly shook her head in amusement. “We don’t do that, father, remember? It’s too plebeian.”

“I’ve lost one daughter to this madness. I won’t lose a second. You will come home safely. You _will_ return to me. Is that understood?” Her father hesitated for a second while lighting a fresh cigarette. “I do love you, Matilda. I know you’re angry with me. I know I am an unconventional father at best, but that doesn’t detract from my ability to feel.”

“I…”

“I will be anxiously waiting for your call.” He started to disconnect only to stop when she started to speak again. “Yes?”

“I won’t disappoint you.” Tilly came the closest that she could recall to saying ‘I love you’ since she was in her teens. “And I’m…”

“Don’t apologize for turning the information over to the Alliance. I was impressed with your devious choice of revenge.” He waved off the apology she had been about to offer with a knowing smirk. “We’ll discuss the lessons we’ve both learned when you return.”

“Fine.”

“And Matilda?”

“Yes?”

“If you ever betray me to the Alliance again…”

“You’ll kill me?”

“No, I’ll have Kai do it for me.”


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

The happy cloud of familial vibes between Tilly and her father faded right about the time she failed to return from her mission to rescue Doctor Amanda Kenson.  _Damn idiotic Alliance twits who thought they could handle anything._   She argued extensively with him about her next course of action.

Her father wanted her to abandon the non-Cerberus crew on the Citadel, along with her façade of Commander Shepard.  The batarians weren’t interested in Tilly Harper after all.  They wanted Lara Shepard.  He figured they could have the dead body that had been preserved after their attempts to resurrect her twin.

Tilly refused to allow him to tarnish her sister’s name by turning her into a coward.  She didn’t even want to consider what batarians would do to desecrate the body.  Lara had been brave—to a fault. While she did intend to step out from under the mantle of ‘Commander Shepard,’ it wouldn’t be at the expense of her sister’s memory.

And only after the Reaper threat had been dealt with.

From all the reports Tilly had managed to _review_ from what Kai had been sending the Illusive Man, Cerberus no longer seemed to be hunting for a way to stop the Reapers.  Her father wanted to understand the monsters.  _What a surprise._ He’d never been able to resist the temptation to control the uncontrollable.

It put Tilly in a complicated and confused place.  She’d always stood by her father.  Cerberus had her loyalty, but what if the mission had changed to a suicidal attempt to manipulate homicidal machines?  Did that change anything?

Sheer madness.

Forcing her crew off the ship on Illium, Tilly kept only the Alliance friendly Moreau and Chakwas.  They flew directly to Vancouver. Anderson, Coats and Hackett were there to take her into immediate custody which she had assumed meant a lovely cell in the brig.

Custody actually turned out to be _protective_ custody.   Protection from whom?  The addled twits from the Alliance clearly thought she was unable to protect herself.  She fully intended to prove them wrong at the first opportunity.

Now Tilly sat in a conference room with the three men, along with several other members of the admiralty.  They had questions.  _Many questions._   She had to find a way to save her father while giving them some semblance of the answers they wanted.

So far, it wasn’t working all that well for anyone.  Tilly had a migraine.  The Alliance officers appeared convinced that she was lying about not knowing where the Illusive Man had moved Cronos station to.   They appeared to lack any form of empathy.

It was _her father_ who they were so casually considering.

“Here.” Coats set a glass of water and a couple pain pills in front of her during one of the breaks. “Lara would be proud of you.”

“You are a very attractive liar.” Tilly tossed back the aspirin with a grimace.  “This wouldn’t have altered Lara’s opinion of me one way or another.  She would’ve called me a silly twat for getting myself stuck in this position.”

“You’re…”

“Please. Stop.” Tilly massaged her temples gently to attempt to ease the tension.  “I do not _do_ pep-talks.”

“Okay then.  How about I lock you and Hackett into one of the private rooms?” He winked at her with a roguish grin on his face.  “You can _do_ him.”

“He is _pretty._ ” Tilly fluttered her eyelashes exaggeratedly at him.

“That was disturbing. Don’t do it again.”

“How did Lara ever put up with you?” Tilly rested the glass of water against her forehead. “How many different ways can they ask me questions about Cerberus?”

“The Alliance believes in multiple redundancies.” Hackett joined them, looking down at Tilly with concern.

“Which explains the surplus of admirals.” Tilly rolled the cool glass against her brow. “I’ve answered all their questions—twice.”

“It might help if you weren’t stalling and holding back.” Hackett dragged a chair over to sit closer to her. “Whatever this _plan_ of yours is, it’s not working.  Just…tell us _everything_ , and we can move on to something more productive.”

“Tell you everything?”  Tilly set the cup down on the table and sneered at Hackett. “Everything? Not even if my life depended on it.”

“Then why are you wasting our time?” Anderson came up behind Hackett with a frown on his face. “We should’ve simply revealed her as a fraud and tossed her into the brig.”

“Or perhaps to the batarians and been done with it?” She shot back at him.  “Perhaps _you_ should remember that I could have returned to Cerberus with my ship, crew and all the information which I’ve so graciously given to you.”

“But you haven’t given us the Illusive Man.”

Tilly shot to her feet and ploughed through Coats and Hackett to get to Anderson.  She had him up against the wall with her forearm against his throat.  “And would you be so quick to throw your father to the wolves?  I provided enough to help you stop him.  I won’t hand you his head on a platter.”

“Afraid to get your hands dirty?”

Tilly allowed Coats and Hackett to drag her away from Anderson. “If you want my father dead, I’m afraid the Alliance is going to have to do their dirty work on their own.  I won’t slit my father’s throat for you.”

“Afraid of him?”

She yanked her arms away from the men beside her.  She straightened her shirt and jacket with jerky movements then carefully rearranged her hair before turning cold, enraged eyes towards Anderson. “You should be _very_ careful with the next words coming out of your mouth.  I’ve had as much as I can take of you pompous Alliance types trying to _show_ me the way to salvation as if I’ve been living in the pits of hell my entire life.   You know nothing about me or my father.  I have given you _all_ that I can and more than you deserve.  The Alliance is the one who threw my sister to the whims of the council.  It led to her death, didn’t it?  Where was her mentor Captain Anderson then? Hmm? Where were you when she was suffocating to death?”

“I think that’s enough from both of you.” Hackett stepped in between the two of them and placed a firm hand on Anderson’s chest to stop him from striding forward. “Enough, David, this isn’t getting us the answers we want. Perhaps you should take a break?”

“I’m…”

“Take a damn break, David. That’s an order.” Hackett motioned for Coats to _help_ Anderson out of the room.  He turned his stern gaze toward Tilly who felt not even remotely sorry. “Was that necessary?”

“Incredibly so.”

“We aren’t the enemy.”

“You say that often, yet I’m not feeling like an ally or friend at the moment. This feels like an interrogation and Anderson is definitely the _bad cop_.” Tilly did breathing exercises for a few minutes before continuing. “You may not believe me, but I want the Reapers stopped.”

“You want them stopped without sacrificing your father.” Hackett gestured toward the couch across the room. “Let’s talk.”

“As opposed to what we were just doing?”

Hackett caught her by the elbow and firmly guided her over to take a seat. “I’m not certain you truly understand the dangers of the technology that Cerberus is toying with.”

“I know.”

“If you know…”

Tilly lost the fire in her anger.  She collapsed against the couch cushions behind her with her arm draped across her eyes to block out the intense gaze from the man sitting next to her. “He’s my father, Steven.   I know he’s done terrible things.  I know the current path that he’s taking Cerberus on can only lead to catastrophe.  But…he’s the only family I have, the only family that I’ve ever known.”

“Do you think the Illusive Man is going to be stopped? Do you believe he’ll listen to you?” He sounded truly concerned, though Tilly imagined it was for her, not her father. “Or isn’t it more likely he’d attempt to draw you into the research?”

“If it were your family, wouldn’t you at least try?”

“He isn’t the only people who care about you.” Hackett clearly decided to switch tactics. “I’m not asking you to tell us where he is.  I have a feeling Cronos was moved the minute you decided to disregard his order to return.”

“Standard procedure if the station’s location has been compromise, or _potentially_ been revealed.” Tilly dropped her arm and forced herself to sit up straight.  She wasn’t some idiotic weak-kneed woman. “If you don’t want his location, what do you want?”

“Access to the Cerberus systems.”

“Like I would…”

“Don’t even attempt the lie, Matilda.  You’ve got access to both Cerberus and Alliance systems.” Hackett gave her a broad smile which did make her a little weak in the knees. “Help us keep track of what Cerberus is researching. It might be the key to stopping the Reapers.”

“The pretty ones are always the most dangerous.” She waved off his indignant huff. “I will do what you ask on two conditions.”

“Name them.”

“You put someone else in charge of the _Normandy’s_ mission.  Let Lara have a hero’s death, somehow.   I’ll work with you, but not as the faded figure of my twin.  And you keep David Anderson far away from me.” Tilly considered Hackett with a calculating smile. “Dinner.”

“Pardon?”

“I insist on you buying me dinner.” Tilly folded her arms behind her head and reclined into the cushions. “Those are my terms.”

 


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end for now, though I'll likely come back to Tilly at some point to give her an epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Dinner never happened.

The reaper invasion hit, leaving everyone scrambling to get to safety.  Nowhere was safe.  Ships were blown right out of the sky.  Hackett escaped on the _Normandy_ while Tilly ended up with Anderson and Coats.  Neither she nor the admiral was overly amused by that turn of events.

Two weeks into the decimation of earth, Tilly made a decision to leave the make-shift Alliance compound. She couldn’t handle Anderson’s constant derisive comments and his not so subtle attempts at interrogation.  Without the façade of being Commander Lara Shepard, the marines hadn’t been at all interested in trusting her to fight with them.  So in the middle of the night, she’d grabbed her packed bag, _borrowed_ one of the militarized sky-bikes and disappeared into the night.

The Alliance could burn to the ground—stuck-up bastards.  Tilly intended to find a way to either bring her father back from the brink of insanity or put a stop to his slide into madness.  She tried not to think about what stopping him might entail.  It would _not_ be pleasant.

She found a pocket of survivors living in the remains of an old war bunker outside of New York.  She knew Anderson intended to gather the Alliance in London.  Her tracer in the Cerberus systems told her that her father had some interest in the city as well. It also gave her insight into what precisely the Illusive Man had done to his operatives.

Including Kai.

The vid downloaded from a secure server which showed the _changes_ her former love had undergone were enough to send Tilly rushing from the room to vomit into the nearest toilet.  She sunk down on the floor and restrained herself from bashing her head against the wall. _Of all the sick, twisted things to do._  Her father, in all of his wisdom, had clearly fallen straight into a reaper trap. 

Days later, Tilly still couldn’t get the vision of Kai mutilated into nothing more than a shell of a human.  She wondered how long it would be before he lost control of his own body.   The reapers were insidious. She’d seen that first-hand on earth.

Making it to London was harder than anticipated.  Tilly managed to eventually _coerce_ a few Alliance marines to join her on a trek from Boston across to the Forward Operating Base which Anderson had created.  She faded quickly into the background once there to avoid being seen by the man. 

“So you’re alive.”

Tilly used her years of training to avoid _jumping_ in surprise at the familiar voice.  She hesitated at the top of the wall that she’d been about to climb over to escape the base. “And so are you.”

“Your father…”

“Is likely indoctrinated.” Tilly didn’t need Hackett to tell her.  She’d seen a vid of a conversation between the Illusive Man and a few of his scientists.  It had sent all of her hopes plummeting.  “He looked into the abyss.  It was only a matter of time before the abyss looked back.”

“I’m sorry.”

She bit her tongue to stop the sharp retort that came to mind. “Indeed.”

“Fight with us.  We’re trying to make it to the beam in the distance.” Hackett took slow, cautious steps towards her as if he thought she’d bolt from him.

“Don’t pity me, admiral.” She sneered at the look in his eyes. “I don’t need your pity.”

“It doesn’t always have to be so damn difficult with you.”

“I’ll fight with you and when this is over, if I’m not dead, you will _all_ leave me in peace.” Tilly ran a hand through her grimy hair with a grimace. “I think I’ll soak in a bath for days when the reapers are gone.”

“Alone?” Hackett’s eyes twinkled with amusement and desire. “I happen to know where a rather large hot tub is.”

“One step at a time, admiral.”

Four hours later, Tilly limped over mangled corpses through a tunnel on the Citadel.  She made her way across a bridge of some sort and came face to face with her father.  He held Admiral Anderson, Admiral Hackett and Major Coats at gun point.  And he _looked_ like a monster.

It was almost enough to send her to her knees.

She straightened her back and strode purposefully forward, despite the pain it sent through her body.  She came to a stop in front of her father, but in-between him and the Alliance officer.  “Father.”

“Matilda.” He turned cold blue eyes toward her and a shiver drifted up her spine. “I wondered if you were alive.”

“What the _hell_ have you done?” Tilly just barely managed to stop herself from lifting her hand up to touch his ruined face. “What have you done?”

“I’ve secured our future.”

“You’ve all but doomed us. You’ve been a fool.” She clenched her fist, digging her fingernails into her palm to block the tears threatening to clog her throat. “You knew the dangers.  How many fucking times have I told you not to go too far in your research? What _have_ you done?”

“Help me.”

Her father’s whispered words initially sounded like an attempt to coerce her into cooperating.  It was the way his fingers relaxed on the grip of his pistol that told her the truth of it.  Tilly steeled herself for the inevitable.

For the one thing that had been almost written in stone for her to do.

Taking a few steps forward, Tilly ignored Hackett who tried to stop her.  The three Alliance men appeared frozen in place in any case.  She reached out with surprisingly steady hands, and wrapped both sets of fingers around her father’s hand.  She guided the weapon toward him and forced the pistol to fire multiple shots stray into his heart.

“ _Tilly.”_ Coats started toward her the minute he was free.  He wrapped an arm around her and followed her down as she dropped to her knees next to her father’s body. “He’d be proud of you.”

“He’d call me a fucking fool.” Tilly spat at him angrily.  She reached up to close her father’s eyes—the blue lifeless orbs were too much for her to handle.  She glanced over her shoulder at Anderson. “I’ve paid my price in blood.”

“I’m…”

“Apologize and I’ll shoot you.” Tilly shoved Coats away from her while glaring at Anderson.  She caught the sounds of one of the admirals yelling over Coat’s comm. “Shouldn’t you three idiots being doing something right about now?”

While the three officers figured out how to get the Crucible to fire, Tilly checked her father over.  She took his omni-tool first, surprised to find it working.  She checked his jacket pocket to find his cigarette holder and lighter, the latter had been a birthday present for him a few years back.

Pocketing both items, Tilly turned around to find Hackett watching her with compassion in his eyes.  She wanted to snap at him and release some of her rage.  He averted his gaze after a moment, allowing her at least the chance to pretend to mourn in private.

“It’s working.”

The massive explosion which followed sent the four of them sprawling to the ground only to be buried under the rubble.  Tilly had one second to consider the massive understatement from Coats before her world went dark.  Her last conscious moment was the realization of a strong arm wrapping around her waist.

She woke up groggy in a make-shift hospital tent in London three days later to find Hackett sitting in a very uncomfortable looking chair beside her bed. “Are all Alliance admirals such besotted fools?”

“Besotted?” Hackett sat up slowly and seemed to take a moment to work the kinks out of his back. “Intrigued, hasn’t been long enough for besotted.”

“Hmm.”

“Are you going to give me the chance to get that far?” Hackett asked curiously.

“Maybe.” Tilly gave him an exhausted smile. “We’ll see if you’re worth it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Face Reference:
> 
> Matilda Harper: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/110748998476/matilda-harper


End file.
